My Friend’s Precious Legacy

“There is a destiny that makes us brothers. No man goes his way alone. Whatever we bring to the lives of others comes back into our own.” Edwin Markham

My Friend’s Precious Legacy

I was blessed with a dear friend named Judy whose example gave me a rare opportunity to be with someone who practiced the tenets of love, peace, charity, kindness, self-sacrifice, reverence for God, and a sense of the sacred with regard to people and all living creatures on this planet. Judy was a doctor for all the right reasons, and her life philosophy profoundly influenced mine.

Judy’s Background

Judy was not just any doctor; she was motivated by a deep sense of purpose. Her identity was never tied to her title or financial status. She was rare and beautiful, both inside and out, and she was the last true friend I had in this lifetime. Sadly, she passed away from pancreatic cancer over thirty years ago.

Judy’s Philosophy on Life

Judy’s patients were mostly healthy young men who, through injury, were rendered either paraplegic or quadriplegic, with a life expectancy of 10 more years at best. Despite the challenges she faced daily, her philosophy on life was simple and profound:

• Appreciation of Life: “As long as you can walk, think, speak, and feel the sun on your face, you have no problems.”
• Authenticity: Her personal identity was never tied to her title or financial status.
• Unconditional Love: Practiced the tenets of love, peace, charity, kindness, and reverence for all living creatures.
• Spiritual Strength: She emphasized the importance of turning problems over to God and His angels.

Personal Reflections

I came to adopt Judy’s concepts regarding life as my own, which were part of what helped free me from San Francisco’s Nob Hill and seek another path. [See: The Cactus Flower.]

When Judy called late one afternoon, she apologized for not having been in touch sooner. When I asked her how she was doing and how her clinic was going, She said she was not doing very well and that she had to shut down her clinic. I asked her why, and she let me know that she had been diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. 

She was calling me from the hospital. When I asked her if I could come and see her, she let me know that if I was coming to tell her she was going to be okay – that she would come through this – to please stay away. I promised her I would not even begin to tell her those things.  She was the most positive person I ever met. She did not need me to become a false cheerleader. I was her friend and she was fully aware of her prognosis. She arranged for me to come well after visiting hours. I came. 

Final Moments and Legacy

It was 11:00 pm that same evening when I arrived at the hospital. I would never see Judy again. She had taken me to the Joffrey Ballet as a surprise for my 30th birthday and, in memory, I brought her a pair of porcelain ballet slippers tied together with a pink satin ribbon. I also brought a card with a picture of beautiful horses running together along a river, which read: “Life is a journey. And the best we can hope to find along the way is a true friend.”

In the next three hours we spent together that evening, she shared many things with me. Judy always spoke from her heart. Her career made her time spent alone very precious, and the company she kept was well chosen. One of the things she made clear to me from the beginning of our relationship was that any time we spent together would be in the spirit of sharing the fullness of each day in thankfulness and in recognition of the beauty that surrounded us. This allowed us to feel the fullness and value of those days and create memories to cherish. These last moments together we no exception.

Judy let me know that she would have less than nine months to live and asked that I not return. She wanted me to remember her as she was that night, minus the blood transfusion she was administering in her arm. I understood and told her she would always be with me in spirit and in my heart. I said “goodbye for now,” turned – turned back around and smiled – and then left the hospital room. 

Final Thoughts

Judy’s life and philosophy continue to inspire me. She taught me the importance of living authentically, appreciating the simple joys of life, and turning over our problems to God. Her legacy is a testament to the power of love, peace, and spiritual strength. Judy’s influence remains a guiding light in my life, reminding me that true wealth is measured not by our material possessions, but by our character and the love we share with others.

Now About You:

• Reflect on the people in your life who have influenced you profoundly. How have they shaped and shared your values and beliefs?
• Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.